10 Tips to Having an Illness Support Group that Isn't Depressing

If you have a chronic illness or live with chronic pain, it's highly likely that you have attended a support group at least one time since your diagnosis. Did the experience go something like this?

Despite feeling exhausted and in pain, you decided you would attend the group anyways. By the time you got there you were running late, couldn't find the suite number, and finally just parked and hiked to an upstairs room in a dark wing of the hospital. You quietly found a seat, a hard, sticky seat. People smiled at you, but soon they got back to their discussion and it seemed no one was feeling encouraged by it. They argued over the side effects of medicine being worth the benefits, two people tried to convince you to buy a juicer from them, and soon you were ready to run screaming from the room. It's too depressing!

Aren't support groups supposed to be a valuable coping tool?

Yes, they are! Studies done on support groups by David Spiegel, MD, have found that support groups do improve the quality of life for their attendees. Recently studies have concluded, however, that the lifespan of a patient with cancer may not increase because of a support group environment (CANCER, Sept 2007). However, we cannot deny the fact that the validation of one's feelings about their illness definitely makes a difference in how they cope with chronic illness.

Whether you are looking for leadership program ideas for your small group, or you're just thinking about attending one, you may have cause for concern about how fast a group can go from being a friendly, honest place to a time of complaints and even bickering. Would you like some fresh icebreaker games for small groups to perk people up?

Whether you lead a support group or just participate, chances are you've noticed how slippery the slope is when people start talking about their illness. These ideas will work for any groups, from an Aspergers support group in Dallas to a bipolar support group in Birmingham. Alabama. And they are excellent to have when you are creating a proposal for starting up a support group. Here are 10 ways to make your illness support group get some giggles back between the trials.

1. Cut out some smiley faces and sad faces and glue them back-to-back to a stick or plastic knife. As you go around the circle sharing have each person make sure they are able to hold up both sides of the faces when they are talking about their illness. For example, Mary could hold up the sad face and say, "Preparing for a joint replacement and all the therapy involved afterwards is a bit scary." (Then flip it over) "But the upside is my family and friends are already volunteering to come over and help me out around the house."

2. Redefine your conception of what counts as indoor games for small groups. For example, start a JOY box and ask everyone to bring an item for it that someone else can take home with them. Have each person choose an item at the end of the meeting. It could be a silly toy, a cartoon, a rubber fish, or great book, a poem, a note someone sent that encouraged you, or even a funny DVD. Ask everyone to return them at the next meeting and exchange it for another item. Refresh the box up now and then.

3. Let your small group write a silly theme as their next icebreaker. If anyone plays the guitar, have them help. You can pick a well known song. Write your own lyrics. Have fun with it and open or close each meeting with it. Comedian Anita Renfroe has a fun parenting song to get you brainstorming.

4. Find some goofy props to bring to your meeting. Don't make anyone feel they must use or wear them. (Forcing someone to wear bug antennas may scare them away for good.) But make sure they are available to encourage light-hearted moments before discussing the depressing reasons you are there. You can find hundreds of items for a reasonable price at Oriental Trading Supply.

5. Don't let the group turn into a venting session for one member who insists dominating the conversation. There is often someone who insists on sharing details about diagnosis, treatments, complaints, family troubles etc. If you have someone who fits this description, implement a policy to set a timer. Make it fun by telling people they have 60 seconds to get anything off their chest and they can talk as fast as they want. Does someone want to share about a new alternative treatment? Give him/her a limited time like 1 -2 minutes and then invite people to ask for more details after the meeting.

6. Ask everyone to bring an item to include in a gift basket encouragement for someone else. It may be someone who cannot attend the group someone having surgery, or a friend of someone recently diagnosed. Put your ideas together about things people would like. Don't forget personal notes or even sticky notes on a small gift can mean the most.

7. Plan a fun evening for the group. If everyone wants a nice sit down restaurant, that's fine, but you have more fun at your local kid's pizza playing pinball. It can definitely be a successful icebreaker for small groups. A different environment may encourage some people to be vulnerable who have remained quiet previously.

8. Hand out articles and other resources that encourage people to thrive despite their illness. You can find fun items through the National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week website like "My illness is invisible but my hope shines through."

9. Listen to a recording of potential guest speakers before inviting them to speak if possible. Some can be quite depressing. Let guest speakers know that you'd like their presentation to be on the positive side despite the topic of illness. Tell them they are welcome to tell a joke, pass out props, or whatever will keep people listening and also encouraged.

10. The people in your group are quite amazing and able to make a difference. This is important for them to remember since they often feel so out of control. Your group may not be able to actually walk for charity, but they can likely work at a registration table, pass out bottles of water for a walk/run, or even just hand out presents to kids at the children's hospital. Teens with chronic illness often get support groups can be great motivators for these kinds of outings. Find a project people are passionate about where they can see they are making a difference in the lives of others.

Support groups can be one of the most vital tickets to living successfully with chronic illness, but the atmosphere of the group can make or break its effectiveness. With these few simple steps, your group can be a place of refuge and relaxation, creating an environment for people to live their best lives, despite the existence of an illness.