How Do You Treat the Wait Staff at Restaurants?

Occasionally, an article is written that makes me want to shout it's message to the world. I'll bet that's happened to you too, hasn't it? And you wished some of the folks you know could see it, read it, and finally get it's point, don't you?

Such an article appeared for me in the April 14, 2006 USA Today , Money section. It's entitled "CEO's Vouch for Waiter Rule" Watch How People Treat Staff " and it's about what you can tell about a hiring candidate, or anyone for that matter, by simply dining with them.

We've known for some time that HR executives gain invaluable information from this process. In fact, it happened for me years ago when I was the interviewing candidate.

I was being interviewed for a high-end sales position by an HR person who'd flown in for the interview. My interview happened during lunch time. We met at a top-scale restaurant; one that has hosted presidents and international leaders.

While initially impressed with this selection, I was soon appalled by the lack of table manners from this 'big city' VIP, which included downing two martinis, talking with large wads of food in his mouth, and allowing ranch dressing to drip from his chin.

And he was rude to the staff. I wondered if his CEO knew how this individual represented his company while trying to impress a potentially key player. My interest in their firm ended that day.

That article in USA Today allowed me tremendous insight. While he was nice to me, the interviewer treated the staff as personal errand boys, constantly demanding more and more. It gave me a dismal glimpse into their corporate culture.

According to the USA Today article, "Its hard to get CEO's to agree about anything, but all interviewed agree with the Waiter Rule. How others treat the CEO says nothing, they say. But how others treat the waiter is like a magical window into the soul."

The article goes on to describe what CEO's have learned, 'just about every CEO has a waiter story to tell.' Here are some you hope are not told about you:

- "That he was demanding and could not function well without a lot of hand-holding from his support system." Siki Giunta, Managed Objectives

- "Watch out for people who can turn charm on and off depending on the status of the person they are interacting with. Be especially wary of those who are rude to people perceived to be in subordinate roles. Bill Swanson, Raytheon

- People with situational values have situational ethics, and those are people to be avoided." Steve Odland, Office Depot CEO

Of course, the reverse is true. "Dave Gould, CEO of Witness Systems, experienced the rule firsthand when a waitress dumped a full glass of red wine on the expensive suit of another CEO during a contract negotiation. The spilled-on CEO downplayed the mistake and pulled the guilt off the waitress with a light-hearted joke. A few days later, when there was an apparent impasse during negotiations, Gould trusted that CEO to have the character to work out any differences."

The waiter rule also works for how we treat all others--hotel staff, receptionists, doormen, and grocery clerks and others. So, before making that important decision to hire a candidate, date, befriend or trust a new business partner, you might just want to invite the individual to dine with you. You can't always tell from what you merely see.

How do your manners and attitude at dinner represent you? This may just be the week to find out. Enjoy your discoveries and have a grand week!