Remember once you tell one person of engagement news tends to travel siblings. If one relative tells another this may make things easier for you but it may leave the relatives who found out secondhand feeling hurt or angry. A good way to ensure that you are the one telling those closest to you is by have a family dinner. You may need to hold 2 or 3 small get together to tell who’s most important in your lives before sending out a general announcement.
These events should be held within one week of becoming engaged, if at all possible Do not give into temptation and start telling people before the dinner, keep it a secret. Since you are trying to make sure no one finds out before this event make sure not to tell anyone beforehand. For this reason you will want to schedule these dinners as close to the engagement date as possible.
If the two families have not met yet or are not on good terms the dinners should be separate. If they have not met you should try to have a get together for the two families soon afterwards, at least one with the two of you and the parents. Throwing separate dinners or even one big party at once will ensure that everyone hears the happy news from you. This way you can let the people closest to you know before the announcement goes out.
Also, if there are any children from previous marriages they should be told first. This should know before the dinner. You should encourage them to talk about how this makes them feel and help them deal with any transition problems that there may be. They should be told immediately after the acceptance and given a little time to adjust before the dinner party. Also let them know that you do not want them to tell anyone until after the immediate family is told at the party. If the child or children are on good terms with the individual who is about to become their step parent you may even want to allow them to announce it at dinner so they feel involved. .
Alyssa Kelly freelance writes for Our Perfect Wedding Guide, an online guide to everything you need to know about weddings from the engagement through the honeymoon. The website also offers a monthly newsletter which offers free up to date content delivered to your inbox. Ms. Kelly writes for this site as she believes in love and marriage and she believes in this website.
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by Alyssa Kelly
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